Perpetrators of Domestic Violence

Domestic Abuse Center

Since 1982 the Domestic Abuse Center has worked to stop domestic abuse in our community. This is a non-profit organization. The fees collected from our clients are used to help pay the operational costs of our organization. This organization was developed because local judges wanted to have a program that helps prevent repeated offenses of domestic violence; judges can now send individuals to this program instead of giving them jail time and/or fines.

The Domestic Abuse Center handles diverse issues due to the different types of clients the organization receives. Therefore, we developed a broad program in which many different people, males and females, can relate. Mandating organization was the only way a client is able to be released from the program.

Many clients have said that the Domestic Abuse Center has helped them make positive changes in their lives.

Psycho-educational topics covered during the first twelve weeks after orientation:

1. Understanding Abusive Behavior	7. Examining Our Values
2. Anger	8. Healthy Self-Esteem
3. Stress - Life's Time Bomb	9. Victim Empathy
4. Effective Communication	10. Setting Healthy Limits
5. Assertiveness	11. Respecting Limits Others Set
6. Examining Our Beliefs and How They Influence Us	12. Effects of Domestic Violence on Children

Program Principles

1. Violence directed at your partner is not only unacceptable, it is a crime and is never justified.
2. Each of us is 100% responsible for our own behavior 100% of the time.
3. Provocation does not justify violence.
4. The only person you can learn to control is yourself.
5. You are at the session for yourself.
6. Violence is a learned behavior.
7. Because violence is a learned behavior, it can pass from generation to generation.
8. Because violence is a learned behavior, it can be replaced with other ways of expressing anger.
9. Violence has long-lasting, harmful effects on every member of the family.
10. Contrary to the belief that violence results from losing control, violence actually is a tool used to take control.
11. Violence is reinforced by our society.

Cycle of Violence

This pattern of behavior leads to emotional and physical violence and is described as a three part cycle:

Tension Building
Incident Building
Honeymoon/Remorse

This cycle will repeat itself over and over again until you change the way you deal with conflicts in your own intimate relationship.

Green Stamps

Green Stamps is a plan where the man keeps score without the woman's knowledge. A few examples are:

Food/dinner not ready	She irons the wrong shirt
Forgot to pick up a 6-pack of beer when she went shopping	She doesn't want sex when the man is ready
Goes shopping too often	Spends too much time on the phone with her female friends
Spends too much money	Lets the kids make too much noise when he's watching television

When the man determines the scores are high enough, he will abuse the woman verbally or physically. Keeping a tally of Green Stamps is one way to control his woman.

Myths About Domestic Violence

Domestic violence is not a problem in my community.
Domestic violence only happens to poor women and women of color.
Alcohol, drug abuse, and stress cause domestic violence.
Domestic violence is a personal problem between a man and a woman.
If it is so bad, why doesn't the woman leave the relationship?
Some women deserve to be hit.
Domestic violence is not a crime.

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